Civility Starts with Self

Civility starts with Self. The harder position in conversations is for people to take ownership of their behavior and begin to understand how their behavior is influencing the conversation.

Civility, from the Old French and Latin: citizens willing to give of themselves for the greater community/society. ⁣

Developing civility helps an individual develop self-awareness and integrity. Both are valuable in improving an individual’s communication skills.⁣

A couple of years ago (during my masters project) I interviewed a group of newspapermen from North-Central Idaho, who focused on confronting incivility in their community. One of these newspapermen noticed that people had lost the art of having tough conversations, of getting together to discuss challenging topics without it becoming overheated, finger pointing, and/or aggressive. ⁣

⁣Civility does not mean appeasement. It means engaging in conversations by listening and talking about differences with respect.

Civility allows people to come together to converse about topics that are challenging. The opposite of this is conversing only with people who agree with an individual. This can create what is known as an echo chamber. This type of environment doesn’t foster growth of self or thought; rather, it keeps an individual in their current intellectual state, holding onto their current view for better or for worse. ⁣

The National Institute for Civil Discourse (NICD) studies civility and how to promote it within our communities and around the US. “Join us on a journey to remind ourselves how to engage our differences more constructively—to see each other as human begins, not as competing political positions.”⁣⁣

Steven Petrow, the self-proclaimed ‘The Civilist’ gave a Ted Talk in 2019 titled: “3 Ways to Practice Civility.” He shares examples from the headlines around the US, about how the world has forgotten the root of civility. He gives ideas on how to develop civility within your own life.  

Here is the link from YouTube:⁣ https://youtu.be/Vn6elsrKz70

3 Ways to Practice Civility:

1. De-escalate language

2. Don’t make it personal

3. Don’t mistake decorum for civility.

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How do you feel about civility? 

Have you heard of the National Institute for Civil Discourse? 

Did you know the joy of civility can lead to friendship, connection, and a better community? 

How have you experienced the JOY OF CIVILITY?

“Because America is at its best when we’re united, join us to engage our differences constructively.”--NICD